I have five days under my belt of being a mother of two…we’ve had our ups and downs already. We couldn’t have asked for a more mild/calm child than Hunter. He’s fairly easy compared to what we were given the first time around, and for that I count my blessings. He sleeps really well, he doesn’t cry much when he’s awake. He doesn’t have to be held in order to go to sleep. We are definitely blessed.
Steve has been so kind to be on night duty every night!! Steve just brings Hunter to me when it’s time to feed and then takes him back until he’s ready to sleep. Steve then sleeps in while I get Hallie up and going and takes a nap during the day. What a difference it makes to have that support. I’m not running on empty which is allowing me to enjoy this stage that much more. Unfortunately paternity leave is only so long- and my blue skies with puffy clouds will quickly be stripped from me. But for now, I’ll take and enjoy every minute!
Hallie is still “adjusting”. Which I’m hoping is a stage she quickly grows out of. She is more than either/both of us can handle. All these tantrums are driving us crazy, over nothing! NOTHING! In her short three years I’ve never seen tantrums to the extent that we experienced them today. One after the other, and then again, and again. Steve was putting her down to bed tonight and she had another meltdown. Screaming, flailing, throwing herself against the floor continuously. After a considerable amount of time, Steve had had enough.
So I take a turn. More anger, frustration, screaming. I try to calm her and with enough coaxing I finally got her quiet. We go to brush her teeth and yet another breakdown. (I thought she asked me to put her toothpaste on…she didn’t) So I take her back to her room and let her scream for an additional 10 minutes. Both Steve and I return to the scene to mend the broken bridges. I held her as she finished her sobbing, and for some reason this feeling of sadness just overwhelmed me and I started to tear up.
I started to see Hallie as the older child, who would only continue to get older, and not need us as much. (Which don’t get me wrong is a great feeling in ang of itself!) But to contrast that with a newborn who is completely reliant upon his parents. I could see my relationship with her change as my time and attention is focused on Hunter, and the thought of that hurt a little. She’s my little buddy and friend who I enjoy so much, to see how much she’s struggled in the last couple days because of this new addition is hard for me. As Hallie watched the tear fall from my eye, she immediately stopped her own tears. She says to me, “Don’t be sad mommy, can I wipe your eyes?” (Enter more tears!) Who would’ve thought that the little girl of three years ago who only made me cry tears of frustration and anger would have such a tight hold on my heart? I’m so grateful for her (despite her recent actions) and her friendship. It’s amazing the power a child can have over you, and how powerful their influence on you.
Ok.. seriously.. that totally just made me cry.. because I can see this whole scenario happening.. 🙁 I hope it all works out.. you have two great kids coming from two amazing parents!! 🙂
Sorry for being so late with my congratulations. None the less Congratulations! Your little boy is beautiful. You have a lot of wonderful pictures that will be great to remember this time by. I hope every thing starts settling down for you soon! Good luck!!
Utter sweetness! It's those tender moments that you don't ever want to end!
Have you ever heard that a first child taking on a new sibling is like your husband taking on another wife? I'd be throwing tantrums too! 🙂 Good luck! I remember going through all of this with Brandon when Spencer was born. She will adjust- eventually. It was good to visit and hold your new boy the other night! I love all the beautiful pics you've taken.
I love how well you phrase things! It made me cry. I'm glad your hubby is there to help and I know Hallie will pull through. Love ya!
that made me cry, too. what a bitter/sweet moment. hope everything turns out ok. and trust me…she'll never stop needing you. they never do. it just wont be the kind of need we're used to. good luck, i'm thinking of you…
Wow friend…I wish I could just hop on a plane and fly out when Steve has to go back to work!! Hallie is so sweet to wipe your tears, I was reading this out loud to Justin and almost didn't make it through!! As everyone else has said, she'll adjust, it will just take time! We've watched this with Justin's brothers and sisters as their families have grown, and they always grow out of it
Keep in there little mama. You are doing the "right" thing. I wish I had had my blog back then to write down those sweet moments, as you have done. You will cherish these posts.
That is exactly how Sienna was with her baby brother. Never knew the tantrums she was capable of until she had a sibling. "This to shall pass." became my motto and it did, now she is great with and we all found a new normal.
p.s. so glad Hunter is easy going, I told you boys are the best!
Oh, one more thought. My sister told me this and it helped me be patient with Sienna… She said to imagine my husband coming home saying he brought home a new wife and I had to be nice to her and accept it. Thats how the older sibling views the baby. No way would we be ok with that. Helped me see life from her point of few.
p.p.s. Your husband rocks for doing night duty!!!
First off…Steve is amazing. What a big help for you Kara! Second, I can only imagine how what Hallie (and you guys for that matter) is going through. I am so glad though that she has turned out to be such a sweet little girl and that she has a mom and dad that love her so much. Good luck with everything, I will pray for you! love you!
Congrats on little Hunter! It sounds like the delivery went well. I am glad to hear that he is so mellow; I definitely remember those rough few months after Hallie was born. Hang in there, the adjustment gets easier, but if it makes you feel better, most of us have those awful tantrums to deal with as well; I guess that brings me comfort that it isn't just my kids who seem uncontrollable at the moment. Long post! We are so happy for you. Love seeing all the photos! P.S. You look great!
Kara, congrats – he is so sweet and I love the name Hunter! I hadn't heard the news yet…thank goodness for blogging!
You are such a good mama Kara! And Steve is amazing!! Already I think about how hard it will be to split my time between Hayden and a new addition. That one little baby is your everything, and then all of the sudden things change. Change is good, we all know that – but it can be hard. You are doing such a great job. Thanks for letting us be a part of it. We love you guys!
Julie just told me yesterday that she's headed your way! I am dying to hold that new little one of yours too. We look forward to seeing all of you in February or March!
Oh Kara I love how you put that. It is sometimes such a tough adjustment with a new baby. Claire still shows signs of being worried about it and Lu just turned two! That's what I think about all the time…how to spread yourself thin enough to cover for all of them. But it's amazing how it all works out. The love you give is augmented by the other siblings and it all works out.
Man I wish I could come hold that little guy!