I have five days under my belt of being a mother of two…we’ve had our ups and downs already. We couldn’t have asked for a more mild/calm child than Hunter. He’s fairly easy compared to what we were given the first time around, and for that I count my blessings. He sleeps really well, he doesn’t cry much when he’s awake. He doesn’t have to be held in order to go to sleep. We are definitely blessed.

Steve has been so kind to be on night duty every night!! Steve just brings Hunter to me when it’s time to feed and then takes him back until he’s ready to sleep. Steve then sleeps in while I get Hallie up and going and takes a nap during the day. What a difference it makes to have that support. I’m not running on empty which is allowing me to enjoy this stage that much more. Unfortunately paternity leave is only so long- and my blue skies with puffy clouds will quickly be stripped from me. But for now, I’ll take and enjoy every minute!

Hallie is still “adjusting”. Which I’m hoping is a stage she quickly grows out of. She is more than either/both of us can handle. All these tantrums are driving us crazy, over nothing! NOTHING! In her short three years I’ve never seen tantrums to the extent that we experienced them today. One after the other, and then again, and again. Steve was putting her down to bed tonight and she had another meltdown. Screaming, flailing, throwing herself against the floor continuously. After a considerable amount of time, Steve had had enough.

So I take a turn. More anger, frustration, screaming. I try to calm her and with enough coaxing I finally got her quiet. We go to brush her teeth and yet another breakdown. (I thought she asked me to put her toothpaste on…she didn’t) So I take her back to her room and let her scream for an additional 10 minutes. Both Steve and I return to the scene to mend the broken bridges. I held her as she finished her sobbing, and for some reason this feeling of sadness just overwhelmed me and I started to tear up.

I started to see Hallie as the older child, who would only continue to get older, and not need us as much. (Which don’t get me wrong is a great feeling in ang of itself!) But to contrast that with a newborn who is completely reliant upon his parents. I could see my relationship with her change as my time and attention is focused on Hunter, and the thought of that hurt a little. She’s my little buddy and friend who I enjoy so much, to see how much she’s struggled in the last couple days because of this new addition is hard for me. As Hallie watched the tear fall from my eye, she immediately stopped her own tears. She says to me, “Don’t be sad mommy, can I wipe your eyes?” (Enter more tears!) Who would’ve thought that the little girl of three years ago who only made me cry tears of frustration and anger would have such a tight hold on my heart? I’m so grateful for her (despite her recent actions) and her friendship. It’s amazing the power a child can have over you, and how powerful their influence on you.