I am in serious need of some new clothes. I have been married for 8 years. 2.5 of those years I’ve been pregnant. Three of those years I’ve been nursing. My body changes like the weather. Which means I have a closet full of clothing that fits me during one of the many stages my body goes through. So in the short windows I have between these stages, nothing seems to fit right.

So I spent some alone time at the mall on Saturday to rejuvenate a pathetic looking closet. I walked in and out of nearly every store. I held clothes up. I tried clothes on. I searched for the size I needed. But I walked out of every store empty handed. I typically find something that will work, but it was not working for me. As it came closer to the mall closing, I walked faster through every store in hopes that something would scream, “Buy me”. Even my go-to stores left me frustrated. I felt this panic. As if I had to buy something or else the whole trip would’ve been a failure. I quickly picked up a skirt and without trying it on, made the purchase. I left the mall with the satisfaction that I found something…but that satisfaction quickly turned to frustration as I recounted all the things I intended to buy.

I called Steve – “You’re not going to believe this…the Kara look is out. Completely out. My whole look, the style I’ve grown accustomed to is not available for purchase anymore. This totally sucks.”

Instead of laughing at me, which I’m sure he was tempted to do, he could see I was completely serious and began the calm approach to walking me off the ledge.

Steve’s idea: Reinvent. Change my look. Branch out.

Easier said than done. I try on clothes that I really like when I see them on other people. I look in the mirror and feel ridiculous. They feel out of character for me. They fit completely different than I’m used to and make me slightly uncomfortable. What is wrong with me??

To make matters worse- I tried on the skirt first thing when I got home and it was a disaster.

Clearly I need lessons on how to dress myself again. How to pair things together better to make better use out of an entire wardrobe. Accessories?? Forget about it. I think I’ve tried on the same skinny belt 5 times and it still hasn’t made it out of the closet.

I will be making another desperate trip to the mall, this time with Steve for moral support. Wish me luck!!