Just before my TIA, I started collecting materials for a new project – a THANKFUL sign. I wanted it large to sit above my entertainment center and I wanted the letters cut out of wood. Funny sidenote: when I showed up to the ER, I had my purse with me and as I was grabbing my wallet out, a pack of scroll saw blades came with it! I had just been that morning to the specialty wood shop to grab my last supplies. After my ER visit, I was feeling anything but myself. I felt out of place in my own body, I was tired and dizzy.
After two weeks passed and I could feel the depression start to wash over me and zero motivation to do anything, I pulled out my tools. At first, I was doing it somewhat reluctantly because I really didn’t feel like working with wood. But saws have healing properties for me and this jig saw project was just to trick to snap me out of a downward spiral. And what better message to be working on for me, right?
As I cut those letters, I had a distinct impression of gratitude that I was still able to do projects like this. That the numbness in my fingertips had subsided and I could feel the vibration of the saw. I had complete control over my fingers to move the wood in and out from the blade. I felt like myself more so than any other time in the previous weeks and it felt good. Project Kara is a happy Kara, even if they’re small projects.
Tonight as a family, we spent time talking about gratitude and a spirit of Thanksgiving. We all took turns sharing things big and small that we’re grateful for. I am beyond grateful for my health – a huge wake-up call for not only myself but also Steve. We often take our good health for granted and I recognize that. I am grateful to feel like myself again, its an uncomfortable to feel as though you don’t fit in your own skin and body. I am grateful for a loving and dedicated husband who takes care of me even when I don’t think I need it – he always knows how to help me. I’m grateful for those little humans who call me mom even when we’re in the thick of it and my patience is surface level – they’re always quick to forgive. I’m grateful for friends and family near and far who enrich my life on a daily basis. I have so much to be grateful for, I love a season dedicated to sharing our gratitude.