I’m a firm believer that our children are a product of what they’re exposed to – or the opportunities granted to them. Chances are slim that you’ll have children that play the piano if you don’t actually own a piano. Or that you’ll raise a hockey player if you don’t live near an ice rink. Our circumstances and finances often dictate what that exposure or opportunities might be.
I remember reading Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell where he talks about the tech giants Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. They were both raised in areas with advancing technology and both had access to play and tinker with computers at a young age. I believe their exposure greatly contributed to their success. Thinking about either one of them being raised on a farm in a rural community would have changed their trajectory significantly.
The same goes for our own children. Hallie is the oldest of 5 and the only girl. As much as she might have enjoyed dance – I am not a dance mom and never even considered putting her in dance. She would have loved gymnastics – but when we looked into it, it required a time and money commitment we weren’t willing to make.
When she turned 8 and was ready to start playing sports (our family rule) we were still in the throws of Steve’s masters program, long work commutes and several young kids. Steve and I both love tennis so when we asked her if she wanted to play tennis (a lower time commitment and more flexible) she jumped at the chance.
After the first year, we thought maybe she would try another sport. She thought about it and considered volleyball with her friends, but she didn’t want to give up tennis and they conflicted. Here we are four years later with quite the little tennis player – it’s what she was exposed to. She can still shoot a basketball and hit a softball, but she excels at tennis. Could that have been any number of sports…probably. But her opportunity was tennis and I love watching her grow and develop as a player.
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Hi, I always enjoy reading your posts and have a general question for you after reading today’s post. How did you decide not to let your kids start sports until they turn 8? Do you find that they ever have trouble keeping up with their peers who started sports at younger ages (ie. 3,4,5…sometimes even 2)? It seems like all of your kids are doing well, but just thought I would ask. Also, does this rule apply to musical instruments as well?
Hello! It’s funny you should ask those questions, I’ve had several people ask about it. I’ve had a draft blog post started for a while answering those questions, I just published it tonight. As far as musical instruments, it kind of applies. My mom is a piano teacher and I took for years, so I’m comfortable going through the first two or three levels of piano books (with the help of my mom). This gives me a good gauge as to if its an activity the child would like to explore further. Hallie is a wonderful piano player, but she doesn’t love it. I kind of forced her to go through the first four levels of books because I kept hoping she would fall in love with it. She didn’t, nor does she have a lot of interest in any other instruments. Hunter on the other hand really enjoys the piano and sits down willingly. I’ve been helping him for a while and am ready to turn him over to a piano teacher (or try and convince my mom to teach him over skype).
Awesome. Thanks for the update! I love the blog post explaining everything. In a way, you and your husband provide private lessons which are often sought after by many in addition to regular lessons. Your kids are lucky to have such awesome parents. This was very insightful. Thank you for sharing!