I picked up Hunter today from a friend’s house. As we turned into our neighborhood I saw a red sports car in the middle of the road. Both doors were open but no one was in it – then I noticed the damage. Front left bumper, headlight and the hood. I slowly came up to the scene and noticed a teenage boy sitting against the fence on the side of the road, head down looking at his phone. I was concerned for him. I asked if he needed help or wanted me to take him anywhere. He was clearly discouraged and denied my plea for help.
I went on my way.
I got home and was outside with the kids. In passing Hallie told me that there was this crazy red car that came ripping around the corner (we live on the corner) going so fast just a few moments before. You could hear the worry in her voice, “Mom, he could of hurt one of the kids.” Suddenly, my mind flashed back to the kid 100 yards away with the busted up car. My blood pressure started to rise. I asked if she saw what he looked like. He had driven in the neighborhood fairly fast and she saw him with a black hat. Shortly later he exited the neighborhood driving crazy (her words, not mine). It was clear it was the kid that I just offered help to.
I proceeded to make dinner until the voices in my head got the better of me and I marched back to my car in hopes of finding him there with a police officer. There were no police officers there. But there did appear to be his mother, father and a sister assisting him now. I hesitated in my car. Do I approach him and tell him how dangerous he was driving?
Clearly, with the accident he knew that by now. (Which I’m still unsure as to what he hit that caused that much damage.) I didn’t want to add insult to injury. But I felt so strongly that I needed to speak up. I approached slowly, introduced myself (I recognized the parents from the neighborhood) explained where I lived and what Hallie had told me about his driving. The kid wouldn’t look at me.
Instead I spoke to his mother. I wasn’t angry, I was worried. I explained how many young children live in this neighborhood including my own children. Its a dangerous corner especially when you’re speeding or looking at your phone (One girl was so busy looking at her phone on that corner I watched her blow right past a bus with it’s stop sign out with my children crossing – neither the honking from the bus driver nor my yelling caught her attention.)
The mother’s reaction surprised me – she looked me in the eyes and told me thank you over and over again. And I could see the worry and concern in her face. She didn’t want an accident anymore than me.
I told Steve the story when he got home and he was a little surprised I approached them. (I say only a little because I’m more outspoken than many!) You know what? I think there needs to be more speaking up, especially with teens as their brains are growing and developing and they don’t quite grasp some of the consequences to their decisions. We’re often afraid of being the bad guy or making someone uncomfortable or even worse, embarrassing our kids in front of their friends. But that’s okay. If my kid is out doing something dangerous, I welcome the phone call from a concerned neighbor or friend. It takes a village to raise children and it takes a village to keep them safe. We need to speak up more.
YES… and YES!!!!! Totally agree on all points! I applaud you for being brave and doing what you did. As a Mom, I so would want to know!
This is one of my pet peeves too! I’ve followed people out of my subdivision until I could catch them, wave them down, and then let them know they missed a stop sign and almost hit me. I’m THAT crazy lady! To show my kids how little time a person gains driving recklessly, we timed it by driving both recklessly and following the speed limit. I think they took it to heart as they seem to drive carefully. Thanks for making room for me on the soapbox!! 😉
So glad that no one was hurt and absolutely you did the right thing.
Hopefully when it’s Hallie’s turn to learn to drive she’ll remember
this incident.
It’s worth reminding ourselves too, that no matter how carefully we drive, we’re sadly not the only ones driving.
I gave up driving 2 years ago at 59 because I was aware that my reaction time was slowing down. My reaction time to anything has always been extremely fast, which now means normal. For me that’s too slow because I’ve know idea who else is driving.
It is a great reminder for ourselves as well and even more of a lesson for my daughter!
I think you did the right thing also. I have a similar conundrum going on at the moment in should I tell a friend something I have heard about her child. But she is a dear friend and everyone almost always shoots the messenger.
It’s hard. I did have one instance where I expressed concern to a parent of my kid’s friend and it was not as well received. Instead of recognizing the problem, it was more defensive and caused some hurt. Granted – it needed to be discussed so change could happen – which it did. But it still didn’t go over well. It’s hard to know. I think with teenagers speeding and distracted driving parents are grateful to know and less defensive.
Good for you. I would have spoken up too.