Hunter has a friend on his soccer team and in our carpool and we call him a “builder”. He builds people up. When someone is telling a story, he listens and then contributes by telling them how awesome it was or how fun it sounds, etc. He isn’t looking to turn it back on himself, instead he just makes people around him feel better about themselves. He’s a builder and we often point it out to our kids and show them what a great quality it is.
Today, during church, I saw one of my own kids being a builder and I could see he was emulating Hunter’s friend. We had our primary program at church where all the kids have speaking and singing parts in front of the congregation. Bennett’s age group all had significant speaking parts and they were asked to memorize them.
After Bennett’s friend gave his part, he made his way back to his seat next to Bennett in the back row of the stand. As he walked back, I could see Bennett trying to get his attention with the best facial expressions. He was so excited for him, giving him a thumbs up. When he finally sat down, Bennett was fist bumping him and I could see him telling him how good he did. The kid was relieved to be done and Bennett was visibly happy for him.
A while later, another friend made his way to the stand to give his part and then returned to his seat. And there was Bennett in the back row so excited for him. Patting him on the back and whispering to him as he walked by. Genuinely happy for how well his friend did.
It feels so good when others build us up – but it may take some practice to be the builder.
But just think what a difference our world would be if we were all builders.